


child hero child hero -

by ghostscribe



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Black 2 & White 2 | Pokemon Black 2 & White 2 Versions
Genre: Attempted Murder, Fear of Death, Nate just has the worst time basically, Panic Attacks, crossposted from tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 19:30:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20971844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostscribe/pseuds/ghostscribe
Summary: - but he's not afraid, he can't be, he's a hero, he's a hero, he has to be a hero because no one else can be and no one else can defeat them and no one else can save the region but this fourteen year old boy, just a child - hero - child - hero -(or: Nate is fourteen when he meets Ghetsis at the Giant Chasm)





	child hero child hero -

_At times like these, those whose hearts weaken, those whose determination falters, can accomplish nothing!_

He heard Rood say that when he first entered the Giant Chasm, and it resonated with him. It stuck in his head as he weaved his way through layers of trees and ice, as he navigated the absolute maze of a ship that is the Plasma Frigate, as he desperately chased a resolution that seems to be getting farther and farther away. It's always one step forward and two steps back, it feels, and he knows, he _knows_ that a faltering determination will be the death of him, but honestly, he's feeling worn down, every step he takes feels heavier and heavier.

It doesn't help that he watched Opelucid City get blasted with lethal hunks of ice. That doesn't help at all. 

"Hey, Nate."

Nate comes to his senses again when Hugh speaks, his eyes still fixed on the growling Liepard in front of him.

"Yeah?"

"If we let Team Plasma do whatever they want," he starts quietly, as if that's the only answer, "there'll be more sad Pokémon like Purrloin and Kyurem…"

Nate… Nate doesn't have much of an answer.

"Then we won't let them do whatever they want," Nate replies softly, because what else is he supposed to say?

Hugh just sighs quietly, nods softly, and Nate - he bolts, the realization kinda hits him that every second he spends standing here is another second that Team Plasma is using against him, against Unova, against even the world, and suddenly the fate of everything rests on the shoulders of a boy who got his first Pokémon just some weeks ago.

Nate just - he just runs, he resolves not to let himself feel until he's won this, until this is all over. He's not going to overthink it, he's not going to make things complicated, he's just going to battle and battle and battle until everything is over and done with, until Team Plasma has given up. There's no semantics anymore, there's just Kyurem, just one Pokémon he has to free, and then everything - everything should be fine, it's fine, it'll be okay _it's gonna be okay - _

"Woah!" Nate involuntarily yelps when he feels himself slip on a patch of ice in the bowels of the chasm, a deep chamber that feels like it stretches for miles, or maybe his legs are feeling weak, maybe his determination is faltering and maybe that'll be the death of him and Unova and _everything._

This is all riding on him. He pushes the thought aside, but in doing so, his fear is inexplicable. 

He steps deeper into the cave, and he finds himself walking, shaking, no, not because he's afraid, but it's just - it's too cold to _not_ be shivering, and too slippery to run, that's it, that's all, he's fine, he's been playing the hero this whole time and he - he can do this, he can keep doing this, he's fine, he's not going to be scared now. A hero wouldn't be scared now.

The narrow passage opens into a large dead-end, and that's where _he_ is. 

That man is called Ghetsis, which Nate only knows circumstantially; it's not like they were ever formally introduced. He's… unsettling to look at, or maybe he just has a terrible energy about him. He met Ghetsis once before, only one, but the way he speaks, moves, the way he _is_ emanates the energy of something just as overwhelming as the icy dragon he's captured. 

"The Giant Chasm!" Ghetsis calls out into the cave, as if to greet it, with a voice that's honestly colder than the air around them. "This is the spot where Kyurem's power resonates. Here, Kyurem can use the full extent of its power and _easily_ cover all of Unova in ice!"

He slams his cane on the ground, echoing harshly off the walls. Memories of Opelucid City flutter back into Nate's head, and he's sure - he _hates_ that he is, but he _is_ sure - he's sure that there can be - there _will_ be - more fatalities if he doesn't act now, if he doesn't act fast, if he doesn't just _move _but he feels frozen in place -

"Kyurem, come!"

A blast of frigid air hits Nate, chills him deeper than his bones, and that's almost enough to snap him out of his daze completely. The roar from the icy dragon sounds almost agonized - perhaps it _is_ in agony, though. Even being a good twenty feet away from Ghetsis leaves Nate feeling queasy.

"Haaahraaan!" The growl is almost light, fragile, like an icicle threatening to fall.

"Kyurem, wait…" Nate's voice is too quiet. The dragon might not even hear him. He can barely hear himself.

But it's okay. He's okay. He's not scared. He's a hero.

"I have a memory that has continued to haunt me." 

Ghetsis muses almost casually, and - god, could Nate even call that voice gentle? It's almost soft, like Kyurem's cry, but it's a fake voice, Nate is sure of it, but he's such a good actor that it throws him off, it's this weird cognitive dissonance and Nate isn't even sure how to respond, and so Ghetsis just talks and talks and Nate just - he just listens, the hero just stands and lets the villain monologue. 

"Just one. That unpleasant look in your eyes - " as if he's one to talk " - reminds me of it. That aside, this is my gift to you to show my respect for making it this far. I'll freeze you solid right here so you can watch my glorious ascent!" He slams the cane on the ground, another harsh echo, and Nate actually _winces_ at the noise as if it hurt, but - but it can't hurt, he's Unova's hero, he can't be scared, he can't falter, he can't be weak. He's Unova's hero.

Right?

"Kyurem…"

Ghetsis smiles with only half his face, glancing from the dragon to Nate, and that icy stare leaves Nate completely immobilized. 

_"Glaciate!"_

Wait. 

Wait is he - is - 

_"Haahraa!"_

Waves of frozen wind kick up around Kyurem; it's charging an attack, it's listening to Ghetsis, it's _listening_ to him, and in some disgusting way, so is Nate, so is the hero who waits like a sitting Ducklett for something to happen, or, or maybe he's waiting for himself to wake up from his quiet terror - but he's not afraid, he can't be, he's a hero, he's a hero, he _has_ to be a hero because no one else can be and no one else can defeat them and no one else can save the region but this fourteen year old boy, just a child - hero - child - hero - child hero child hero child _child child child - _

He feels tears welling in his eyes, then freezing, he can see crystals of ice forming around Kyurem through his bleary vision, swirling, he feels the winds wrapping around him and clinging to his skin, he feels ice growing on his body already, the crystals only grow and swirl and the ice approaches him, huge pointed spires aimed at him and only him, only at Unova's hero, only at a child, hero, child hero child hero childhero child child_ I'm too young to die - _

The ice moves back, launches away from him, and for a moment he can almost control his body again.

Then it lurches, speeds towards him, and Nate doesn't hear it, he doesn't hear _anything_ but he feels himself _shriek._

He - he can just see it, in the final seconds he has he can see himself being pierced with ice, he can see the citizens of Opelucid being frozen solid, shattering with the ice, he can see them _dying_ and he can see his own death after only fourteen years and he can't even _remember_ all of that time, he can see the ice - he can _feel _it, he can feel the ice ruining his body to a point of no return, he can imagine it, he can feel it pierce him, and it's infinitely worse than - than anything, he can feel it and he can feel the ice stringing and almost _burning_ and he can feel his blood rushing out onto the ground and staining the ice red, he's seen it before and now it's his fate and the child hero child hero child is going to die -

_I'm going to die._

_"Reshiram! Fusion Flare!!"_

He hears an explosion, he feels heat above him, then he hears talking, but he's still.

"So you came," words that seem to come from Ghetsis. "The freak without a human heart… N!"

Some distant part of Nate, a hero, says something like _you're one to talk,_ but the child remains stagnant. His cheeks feel damp and cold.

A magnificent white dragon lands in front of Nate, but he doesn't really feel it happening to _him,_ no, it's a movie playing out in front of him. Some part of him is still rhythmically chanting, trying to come to terms with _I'm going to die,_ and some part of him even knows as N shouts at Ghetsis, some part of him knows he's _eventually_ going to die, everyone will, everything will, he's fourteen and he's going to die one day and - and it was almost just now - and - and if N fails to protect him, and if Nate fails to move - if - if - if Nate fucks this up, he's going to die, and Unova - the world - will fall apart, and it'll be his fault, it'll be his fucking fault for dying in the first place, the world will come undone because the hero child hero child hero child child child didn't do enough for the world - 

"That was a moving expression of your determination!" Ghetsis shouts to - to something N said, perhaps. N's voice is light and melodic but Nate can't hear words from it, and he can't process the words he hears from Ghetsis, a useless hero child hero child hero hero hero - " - disrupted my plans. I was supposed to use your abilities to rule Unova!" Pause. "But I'll forgive you for that as well."

_Forgive._ The word sounds tainted on that man's tongue. "...knew you'd appear if we fired ice missiles into Opelucid..." Yeah that fucking happened, and people died, and, and Nate is going to die too.

"It won't work!" 

"Oh, but it will!"

They continue to shout. Nate feels something approaching a sob escape his throat. Everything feels far away. He's shaking. He could have died. He's _going_ to die. Ghetsis wants him dead.

Then he looks up, and he must be hallucinating the waves of deep red and purple, but N seems to see them too, he looks up in shock and the hero child hero child hero hero hero isn't hallucinating, it's real, Nate did nothing, he did nothing to stop this, the hero child hero child hero child hero child _I'm going to die and he's going to be the one who kills me -_

The dragons battle, that's all Nate can truly process now. They battle, and Reshiram reverts into a stone.

"R-Reshiram!!"

Maybe Touya could've helped, if he were here. Nate can't. He's not a hero. He's a child.

He's a child and he almost died.

He's a child and he's going to die.

A wave of fire kicks up around Kyurem, an inferno warps around it, he sees Kyurem's form shifting and snapping and shaping into some fusion of it and the white dragon, and, and he can't do anything, he can't move, the child hero child hero child child child is no hero - 

_Reshiram?_ The word comes silently from Nate's lips. Something in the fused dragon's eyes glows like recognition. Something else glows with a more feral light, unreachable. 

"…had simply become king, Unova would have remained beautiful!"

If Nate had simply become a hero, Unova would be safe.

"Come now, Trainer."

_Fuck he's going to kill me with his bare hands - _

"This time, no one will save you!"

_Oh my god he's going to kill me - _

"But to make things interesting, I'll give you a chance. Let's see if you can stop _this_ Kyurem!"

He can't. Nate is not a hero.

"What's this? Your pokéballs are trembling. Could your Pokémon be shaking with rage?"

The cane slams, the noise echoes, Nate winces and he is a child. 

"No! That's not possible! Simple tools don't have emotion or thought! Come! Challenge Kyurem!"

And... and he does. Nate feels himself move, but he's moving on autopilot, and he doesn't remember the battle even happening. He doesn't remember battling White Kyurem, he doesn't remember freeing Reshiram, he doesn't remember battling Ghetsis himself, he just remembers a chanting, intrusive _he's going to kill you_ on loop, that and the sound of that staff slamming against the ground, that's all Nate can remember.

The next thing he processes is Ghetsis shouting _I'm perfect,_ and some part of Nate says _unlike you, child,_ then someone shouts _shut up shut up shut up, don't talk like a person, you freak,_ then nothing, then, then - 

"Thank you."

Nate looks at N, and the world kinda comes back to him, and the reality settles back in to his lucid mind. 

He almost died. Someone wanted - someone still wants - to kill him. Someone almost killed him.

"Reshiram says thank you as well!" N adds, undeservedly, Nate does not deserve thanks, this child hero child hero child hero hero hero is no hero. His determination faltered. He only acted on instinct, pure instinct, like a frightened Pokémon, like a child, child hero child hero child child _I'm fourteen and I almost died - _

"On that day two years ago," and Nate lets himself fall into N's voice and out of his own head, "Touya and Alder taught me something. By accepting different ideas, this world creates a different chemical reaction... So I met many different Pokémon and people and heard so much... And that's how my world quietly grew bigger..."

His voice fades to kind of a melody more than words. Nate fades to kind of a statue more than a human. 

"Nate?" Cold fingers tap his cold hand. Nate lifts his eyes to meet N's. "Are you okay?"

Nate's lips move as if to speak, but no words come.

"Nate..."

Then he just sobs, exhausted, terrified, traumatized - could he go so far as to call it trauma? - he sobs like a child because he _is_ a child and, and he doesn't even want to be a trainer anymore, he wants to go home and lay down in bed and wake up an hour before his alarm and just bask in the sunrise, he wants to go home and lay among his pokédolls and a DS that lost its battery when he fell asleep playing it, he wants to go home and wake up in a place and time where he's not a hero, he - he - he just - he wants to be okay again.

Nate feels pressure - physical pressure. It takes a minute to duly realize N is holding him, a hand is gently carding through his hair, N is murmuring to him like a terrified Pokémon and that's about how Nate feels right now and he thinks maybe this is what he needs in this moment. 

Things go black for a bit again, then N is gone and Hugh has replaced him, two hands on Nate's shoulders and a shout that scares the hell out of him.

"Nate?!"

"Ahh!"

"W-Woah, woah, it's okay, Nate," Hugh stutters, trying to get his thoughts out, but Nate can only process every other word. "Team Plasma's ship flew away, i-is it over?"

Nate's voice catches in his throat a few times before he speaks, but he doesn't even offer a real answer.

"I wanna go home." He wants - "I wanna - "

He breaks down again and Hugh holds him now, he doesn't let go even when he leads Nate to a Pokémon Center and settles him down for the evening, and Nate doesn't even want him to let go. He wants comfort. He wants anything other than these feelings swirling through him like a blizzard.

He wants to be a child again. He doesn't want to be a hero.

**Author's Note:**

> hey i know i usually write Rosa as bw2's "canon protagonist" but i wrote for Nate this time because boy howdy he would be fucking terrified out of his mind right about now  
so yeah uh, i have a [Nate appreciation blog](https://nate-propaganda.tumblr.com/post/188137367218/pixel-styx-replied-to-your-post-soooo-i-might) on tumblr and got prompted to write abt the Giant Chasm incident for him so!!! here it is, slightly edited from the original post. i call this one _Nate just really has a bad time_


End file.
